naturallywavy | [ FUTUROLOGY ] ✖ IC CONTACT

[ she looks up at him then, looking stricken that he might have already forgotten something shared between them that she holds so dear. she can't really blame him, though, so she's quick to glance back down at her hands, head lowering somewhat. ]

You protect what you want to protect, I'll protect what I want to protect, [ she recites, recalling the memory as if it were just yesterday.

after a moment, she looks back up again, but rather than meet his eyes, her gaze settles on the long scar cut across his bare chest, fresher than all the others littered about his skin. ]

I couldn't protect you that day. I'm sorry...

[ she trails off into contemplative silence. habit makes her want to turn around and run away again, but she resolves to stay put. wait this out. he doesn't need to forgive her — she isn't even technically asking for forgiveness. she just wants him to know she'll do better. ]

_{[ He remembers it clear as day, as well, but he doesn't feel like the promise was broken. Not at all. That is why he is asking what she means by a broken promise.
Olivia is so silly— feeling this way over a wound in his hand and a cut over his chest. This was nothing in comparison to what he faced protecting his city and the people who are the most important to him. Though, here she is, feeling guilt from something that was out of her control. Of course she wants to go back to blaming herself for allowing the demon to possess her, which is understandable but.. ]}

Olivia.
_{[ His lips spread into a sincere smile. ]}

You cannot expect to overcome something powerful so easily. You grow— you improve yourself until you are strong, if that is what you truly desire. Strength, though. It's overrated. What you should be pursuing is what you actually want to overcome, and if that includes not being weak, so be it.

_{[ He shifts, leaning in a little closer to her and he places his hands on his knees, as if he was telling her a secret: ]}

A broken promise? I don't think so. What physical pain you caused me is worth what happened because in the end... you fulfilled the promise. You gave me an opportunity to protect what I want to protect, which I did.. because you are alive and right here before me. If I would have allowed you to go and get swallowed up by that demon, then it would have been a broken promise... and my fault.

_{[ He leans back and opens the little box, going straight for the cake and speaking while doing so: ]}

Take it as a lesson to become stronger, but only if that is what your soul truly desires. As long as you take your own path and make your own rules for yourself and disregard what anybody else says, you'll eventually find contentment with yourself.

_{[ He takes a bite of cake with his bare hands, muffling a catch-phrase from another Shounen hero: ]}
Believe it.

[ it isn't fair, she decides. she didn't deserve this amount of kindness.

she had hurt him, as clear and plain as day. and he can dress it up however he likes, coat it with the sugar he loves so much, but at the end of the day, the facts were the facts: she was weak. she hadn't been strong enough to resist the demon, had, in fact, been all-too-easy prey. he can make all the excuses for her that he likes (likely because she refuses to make any of her own) but she knows what she'd failed to do.

but she knows him too. or parts of him. his heart, mostly, and how very big it is, even when he pretends it isn't. perhaps especially when he pretends it isn't. taking something like this, turning it around to be about her doing him the favor... typical gintoki. typical kind, caring, gracious gintoki.

it really, truly isn't fair at all. ]

...How did I get so lucky?

[ there's no helping the tears, of course. she knows he hates it when she cries, but she can't help it — all the fears and anxieties that she had built up over this, over losing him, it all just manifests and streams down her cheeks, leaving her a heaving, hiccuping mess with her face in her hands. ]

_{[ Gintoki slowly munches on the cake, watching her cry and be overwhelmed with emotion. When he first met her, this would be a cue to make Gintoki panic— as he hates seeing women like this cry. Though, through his time of knowing her, he has come to accept that it's just.. who she is. Gintoki has been subtly trying to help her strengthen herself not because he wants her to be strong, but that he knows she would find happiness and confidence in herself by doing so.

Softly, though still carrying his lazy drawl: ]}

Oi, oiii. Lucky with what? Having me as a main character for you to support? Is it cause I'm better than Ich*go? Even with my wavy hair?

_{[ There is still an amount of self-worth that Gintoki has to accept for himself, too.
Joking aside, though, he's accepted her as a person. If she wants to cry, so be it. He doesn't have a handkerchief to blow his boogers into and opts for using his hands, so he cannot very well offer her something like that to clean her tears with.
He's also, unfortunately, not one to show tenderness by wiping away a woman's tears— it's too close; too intimate.

He does, however, lean forward again, placing a palm on her shoulder, running it down her upper arm for some form of comfort. ]}

If crying makes you feel better, there isn't anything wrong with that. I used to think you should be stronger, but..
That really isn't my business to say, is it? It isn't. It isn't anybody's business but your own.

Only you can set your own rules for yourself, so don't listen to anybody else. No human or no demon.. or anybody else.
Maybe that is that you can learn from this, aa?

Edited 2016-03-16 00:15 (UTC)

[ it does, a little. as much as she's embarrassed by it, crying is a sort of release for her. for all the feelings that she just has too much of, all at once, crying is so wonderfully cathartic. so when he tells her it's okay, when he tells her she can do whatever the damn well she wants to do... it means a lot to her.

then again — everything he says tends to.

he doesn't like it when she apologizes, so she bites her tongue for this one. when she leans up and draws him in, presses her face into the crook of his neck and his shoulder, she holds back the apology she wants to give him, because this is her being selfish once again. ]

Thank you...

[ so she'll focus on thanking him instead. there's so much more that she owes him, perhaps more than he'll ever know. ]

You're the best main character a silly girl like me could ever ask for.

_{[ Gintoki has let people die and he has recklessly killed others before him. There are people he just couldn’t protect. His hands were stained with blood of those he had mercilessly killed but also those he couldn't save. Through that boastful exterior lay an amount of low self esteem, though Olivia would probably never believe it. The desire to do whatever seems good at the time is his way of trying to redeem himself; make himself actually matter once more.

Though, he kept all of this to himself. Nobody needed to know. Olivia can say this all she wants, but the jokes actually on him: he doesn't feel like he deserves it.
How hypocritical of him. Especially when he's been trying to make her feel value and worth.

Hugging is fine. Gintoki hardly initiates it, but he reciprocates well in moments like this, so both of his arms engulf her, his palm cradling the back of her head.

He's glad he was able to save her. ]}

Pass that along to Weekly Shounen JUMP; I'd like to see my popularity poll be higher than Luffy's one day.
_{[ ok but she doesn't know what you're talking about. ]}

Edited 2016-03-17 14:25 (UTC)

[ at least his nonsense prompts more levity than confusion this time. drawing out a fond (and mildly watery) bubble of laughter out of her, she spares just a moment longer to bury her face against his skin, hoping to leave the rest of her sorrows behind there.

she's got some "doing better" to do. ]

I made another promise to a friend not so long ago, [ she admits when she finally draws away from him. she's probably in no position to be making promises, after breaking so many, but he had basically insisted. ]

I'm going to do better, Mr. Fruit. [ reaching down, she gives one of his hands a gentle squeeze. ] One day I'm going to be strong enough that even you will feel you can come to me.

[ there's that word again, "strength." but it's clear from her tone and her smile that her version of strength can mean many things. perhaps it's a little ambitious that she hopes to be able to fulfill them all. ]

Gintoki is my name.

_{[ After months of knowing her, he has never corrected her, mostly because he doesn't mind. But here, he thinks maybe she deserves to learn the true name of her rescuer. ]}

Gin is fine. Mr. Fruit is fine.
But Sakata Gintoki is my name.

_{[ He clears his throat awkwardly as he feels her warm hand squeeze. That's nice. He doesn't reciprocate that kind of affection, but he doesn't push her away.
This kind of closeness.. he really only shares it with the rest of the Yorozuya. Kagura and Shinpachi and Sadaharu and they weren't here. He doesn't think they will ever be here at this rate and although Gintoki isn't really alright with that, he's glad he can find some kind of similar intimacy with other people.

After all, he felt like he didn't really deserve it: to be close to anyone and indulge in such a wonderful feeling of acceptance and worth— of feeling desired and appreciated.

He was the lucky one, in reality. ]}

Working hard on something like that.. aaah. It takes effort.
Promises.. they are hard to keep.
_{[ he hasn't kept all of his. ]}

[ there is a long moment of silence following that admission. of course, olivia had always sort of known that "fruit" had never been his real name. but it didn't seem to matter to him what she called him, since for whatever reason, he never corrected her. she's heard other people call him something else a number of times before, but she had been quick to turn a deaf ear to it, preferring not to overstep her boundaries. she'd figured, if he wanted her to know, he'd tell her.

and now he's told her.

and it's such a small, silly thing. it's not as if he's made efforts to hide his name — plenty of others already know it. but somehow it still means so much to olivia now, to the point where she is suddenly flustered again, cheeks red, eyes averted. as if he'd kissed her again, graced her with something she didn't think she deserved. ]

I guess they wouldn't mean quite as much if they were easy, [ she concedes. a brief moment of hesitation, and then— ]

...Gintoki, [ she says, as clearly as she can. the syllables are a little clumsy on her tongue, unused to the sounds of his native language, but that doesn't make it feel any less pleasant there. she bites down on her lip then, as if attempting to keep it there for a few moments longer. ]

_{[ They wouldn't mean as much if it were easy, but that just makes it more heart wrenching when you can't keep them.

Gintoki keeps this negative thought to himself, falling quiet for the time being. It's been awhile since he has had somebody this close in proximity to him.
The pad of his thumb runs up the side of her hand as it lay on his still, vacant eyes fixated on the ground as he thinks of a memory as he so often did. Many of them are gray and distant; hard for him to remember. Those especially on the battle field where he saw so many comrades take their last breath but some vivid as a summer day, like eating onigiri under the cherry blossoms with the childish laughter drumming in his ears.

He inhales a slow breath, taking in her scent. ]}

Consider this all a victory, then, and not a loss, as promises that are hard to keep have not been broken, but strengthened instead.

[ she still can't bring herself to agree, despite all his efforts. that scar across his chest, on the very hand he's using to hold hers so delicately, they're proof enough of a promise broken. but in that promise's ashes rises another, stronger one. at least it will be, if olivia has anything to say about it. ]

How was the cake?

[ she shifts a little along the rock they're seated on. a millimeter closer, just a touch. ]

_{[ They've been holding hands for awhile now, haven't they? Gintoki doesn't remember the last time he did something like this and it wasn't Kagura's delicate, small, pale hand. Maybe he held hands with a one night stand to try and make her feel close to him even though he felt like he didn't deserve it.. but he can't remember. He's usually too drunk to really remember the women he sleeps with.

Yet, for whatever reason, he doesn't let go. ]}

It's as sweet as you.
_{[ an actual smooth reply.
He shouldn't, though, speak his mind like this. After all, he was the one who rejected her back during their Chantes mission.
So what was all of this?

Upon realization, Gintoki does draw his hand back and out of Olivia's grasp and puts his gaze on something else. Whoops. ]}

[ and, just like that, the dream is over. oh well... it was certainly nice while it lasted, and while olivia will mourn it, she's not going to make much noise about it. frankly, she thinks she's lucky she even got as much as she did in the first place.

though it does leave her a bit bashful, and so she shyly withdraws her own hand to replace it over her lap, where the other gently cups over it, as if to preserve the feeling of his hand there. ]

Next time, I'll remember to bring you chocolate instead...

_{[ Olivia is so hard to protect. She doesn't get in trouble as much as Gintoki had expected, bu what she does do is she makes it hard for him not to be attracted to her in some kind of way. Her niceness and sincerity is very uncommon for him to come across, accustomed to the harsh ladies of Edo.

This makes her hard to protect because if he continues being charmed by her, he will be the one who ends up hurting her and breaking his promise.

This is hard even for him. ]}

—Or both.
Both is great.

_{[ look at that wide grin.
He'll mooch and freeload until the cows come home, especially if its sweets. ]}

[ she laughs quietly. it's a soft, delicate sound, fitting in perfectly with the serenity of the scene this has turned out to be. ]

Both, then, [ she agrees, turning a warm smile towards him. ] Hardworking bosses deserve that much, at least.

[ speaking of... she glances around, taking note of the wooden sword he'd had over his crossed legs. ]

Were you in the middle of training?

_{[ ugly laughter at hardworking boss.. ]}
Sure. Absolutely.
_{[ He was just taking a break, honestly. ]}

Our previous mission just proves how dangerous this place can be.
_{[ —and he has a lot of people to protect here.
Olivia included.

gee, he's been smiling a lot in this exchange, hasn't he? ]}

[ he has been.

it's a nice look on him. ]

Yeah... It's a little scary, isn't it?

[ she resists the urge to draw her knees up to her chest and curl around them, wanting to look brave for the man. she attempts a smile, but it falls a little short of reaching her eyes. so instead, she glances down at the sword she has hanging on her hip. the very sword she'd cut him with a few weeks ago. ]

I've been neglecting my training...

I've been neglecting my training for at least 7 whole seasons _{[ seasons of anime.. not seasons in the year, but take that as you will ]} so it sounds like it is a good opportunity to pick it up again.

Everybody knows that I hate training arcs, but I was able to do something back in Chantes I am trying to do again..
_{[ A pause. He also looks at the sword at her hip. ]}

Aa? Did you want to try and fight me?

[ she jerks her hand back, turning wide and scandalized eyes toward him. ]

What — of course not!

[ NOT AFTER SHE NEARLY SKEWERED YOU THE LAST TIME? ]

I'm never raising my sword to you again!

No? How do you think we should train together, then?

_{[ yes olivia...... how will we train. ]}

If you cannot raise your sword to me again, wouldn't that already be considered a defeat for you?
_{[ he is challenging her. Though, his tone is playful, almost as if teasing her. ]}

I—

[ suddenly she pauses, mid-refute. she takes note of his tone, challenging and playful, his calm demeanor, and finally (finally) she becomes aware of how close they're sitting. and how much she's seen him smile in just these handful of minutes alone.

she purses her lips, glancing away as her cheeks warm. she doesn't want to have to point her sword at him again, still so guilty that she ever did in the first place... she was a fool then. but when was the last time she'd seen him in such a good mood?

when would be the next time he lets her take up so much of his time? truly, she'd be more of a fool to let such an opportunity pass.

she chews on her bottom lip, mulling it over, thinking fast. ]

I'll do it...

[ she glances up at him then, a sharp glint in her eyes. ]

But only if you beat me at my own game.

[ and what game is that?

she holds out her hand then, presenting it to him as if they were business men shaking on a deal. but then, in the last second, her thumb cocks out.

thumb wars. ]

_{[ He doesn't know what her own game is, but he can't imagine it being difficult. Unless it was like, you know, a dance off between them. Gintoki might would raise the white flag at the very start of it if that were the case.

Though, she sticks her thumb out and something jogs his memory in the very back of his head— he can only stare at her hand for a moment. The last time he played this game.. wasn't with the Yorozuya; they actually were a little more violent than just a little thumb wars game. A game like this went.. way back...

When it was raining outside and they all were covered in blood an mud, traveling to a new location across the battlefield after a stressful night. Gintoki could only taste the salt from his sweat and the grit from the dirt in his mouth. A dull emptiness lay in his eyes (moreso than usual), and also his friends that accompanied him. It was far too quiet as the soldiers allowed their tension to flit into the air.
"Ahaha! Say, fellas! I bet'cha couldn't even beat me at my own game after tonight! What's with that look on yer faces..?" His boisterous laughter may have startled some, but by this point, Gintoki was accustomed to hearing it. It was nice to hear it, even though he wouldn't admit it. It just meant that his friend, Sakamoto, was still alive and well unlike some of his comrades who had perished on this battlefield.

Sakamoto would sit himself down right there, still looking joyous to conceal whatever pain he was feeling and offer his hand to Gintoki, thumb curved upward.
"I'll bet'cha 300 yen," that was the starting price, and anybody who knew Gintoki knew he couldn't deny a challenge, especially if money was involved. Sakamoto's hands were rough and large— but not broken back then.

It really had been that long ago, hadn't it?

Without a word, Gintoki locks his hand with Olivia's. ]}

[ there is a storm behind those fire-red eyes, despite the gentleness of his touch.

or perhaps it's because of; a conscious effort to stay the treacherous winds and rain from the surface, where skin meets skin and damage may be done. it is as touching as it is upsetting; a flattery as much as a disappointment.

her hand is so much smaller than his, a fact so easy to spot now with their palms flush. she wishes she could be the wind that could ease the storm inside him, but she fears she may just be another reason for it to surge.

with a smile, she moves her hand, quietly locking her thumb directly beneath his. ]

Oops. Looks like I lost.

Edited 2016-04-04 21:44 (UTC)

_{[ instantly, Gintoki appears disgruntled at the result of this. Sakamoto did this all the time; he let his friends win so easily and the round would already be over. But also, the game is already over, and Olivia is going to realize how much Gintoki likes games.

With a scoff, he removes his hand only to ruffle up his hair before holding his hand out again: ]}

Best two out of three. Give me your best— what you've been training for.
_{[ ??? apparently Olivia has been training in thumb wrestling, who knows ]}

[ she blinks a little, glancing between gintoki and the hand he offers out again. she had been so sure it was an outcome he'd prefer, considering he was the one saying she should train with him... could it be he didn't actually want to train with her after all?

...

or could it be she's finally found one of his weaknesses?

her eyes narrow just a bit, the light hitting them just so that there is a faint but unmistakable mischievous glint to them. ]

Mm, I don't know, Mr. Gintoki... Are you sure you can handle my best?

[ slowly, she slips her hand back into his. ]

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